I especially liked the way he took the stone from my hand...

Sensei Dad and I have flown to Mumbai to meet Memsahib who is networking at a NASSCOM conference – with this many outsourcers in the building, it’s slave-trading 21st century style. I daren’t stand still too long before I’m up on the block having my teeth examined and being shipped off to a distant land never to see my family again – kind of like what I decided to do anyway.

We all manage to escape the post conference drinks, leaving one of Memsahib’s juniors to nurse his two drink hangover from the previous night and head off to a seaside restaurant which Memsahib has been insisting is one of the best in the city. When we get there, we are lead to our table on the beachfront and sit down to discover that the lighting is, shall we say, less than adequate.

Obviously there’s nothing for it but to wind up Memsahib like a clock work toy. Sensei Dad and I sit there making repeated facetious attempts to read the menu by the light of the single table candle and exclaiming about being able to see our food by the landing lights of the planes flying overhead (we are under the flight path to Mumbai airport). Eventually Memsahib deals with us soundly through a few sound cuffs to the head and we settle down and behave.